[ Jason didn't mean to turn the night into this, when they had other things on their mind. but maybe this is more important. maybe these are the things that need to be addressed first. Jason can't move on when all of this is lingering in the air between them.
he doesn't sleep. not even a little bit. he's fearful, nervous, angry, sad. there are drugs in his bag that he knows would help take care of all of that, and as the sun rises on a sleepless night, that fear of what Dick will say comes creeping in hard and fast. he doesn't know if he can stand this. he doesn't think he can do this.
weak, his head tells him. he's so fucking weak. Bruce thought so, so did Crane. how did he ever think he could prove otherwise? and now, he wants so badly for Dawn to find out what he left behind, but he's scared shitless and he can't take it.
by the time Dawn is up and around, Jason is up on the roof, drugs in his system, inhaler in his hand. it's different here, like this. it's different to feel nothing when there's no one whispering evil plans into his ear. it's his own head telling him things now. what would he do if he didn't feel fear? it's why he's sitting on the edge of the roof, head fuzzy and blank, because nothing else matters anymore but this. ]
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sorry Dawn ;_;
Date: 2022-04-03 08:27 pm (UTC)he doesn't sleep. not even a little bit. he's fearful, nervous, angry, sad. there are drugs in his bag that he knows would help take care of all of that, and as the sun rises on a sleepless night, that fear of what Dick will say comes creeping in hard and fast. he doesn't know if he can stand this. he doesn't think he can do this.
weak, his head tells him. he's so fucking weak. Bruce thought so, so did Crane. how did he ever think he could prove otherwise? and now, he wants so badly for Dawn to find out what he left behind, but he's scared shitless and he can't take it.
by the time Dawn is up and around, Jason is up on the roof, drugs in his system, inhaler in his hand. it's different here, like this. it's different to feel nothing when there's no one whispering evil plans into his ear. it's his own head telling him things now. what would he do if he didn't feel fear? it's why he's sitting on the edge of the roof, head fuzzy and blank, because nothing else matters anymore but this. ]