His words wash over her and she tightens her grip on him, her heart rate spiking and something inside of her flutters again, like the wings of an injured dove.]
Please don't apologize for that...you shouldn't ever have to apologize for loving someone.
[She says and nuzzles her face deeper into his neck, breathing in his scent, savoring it along with his warmth and the feeling of him being with her. He feels so good and every time she thinks about letting go it makes her ache, she wants him around, she wants to see him smile, she wants to hold him like this all the time....and...]
Especially when that someone might be feeling similar things.
[ it's almost overwhelming when she tightens her grip on him, pulling him into a deeper hug. all he wants to do is hold her and be with her, and make all of this better. ]
I know, but it's...
[he trails off, because he doesn't want to say that it's fucked up out loud. he doesn't want it to be fucked up. but how can it not be when she's still with someone else, and this thing between them was never supposed to happen. this isn't who he is, and they can never be together, he knows that.
but then...]
What?
[it aches to pull away from her, but he does, just a little bit so he can see her face.]
[She looks up into his eyes, those beautiful emotional eyes of his and is silent for a long moment as her heart confirms what she just said out loud. She doesn't know if it's love just yet but she knows now that what she feels for him is beyond friendship, there's something about him that makes her feel alive, excited, and fully cherished and she wants to do the same for him.]
[ he doesn't even know what to say to that for a long moment. just hearing it is a shock. it's a lot, but it curls around his heart and blossoms, and he can't help the soft look that washed over his face.
there's even a small smile that touches the corners of his lips, right before he looks down. ]
...Oh.
[this makes things a hell of a lot more complicated and maybe even terrible, but right now it's hard for him to feel any of that anymore. he can't help it. it makes the ache lessen. it makes him happy, even though he knows it shouldn't.]
[That little smile of his, it's everything and she utters a small breathless laugh and brings one of her hands up to cup his cheek.]
Yeah, yeah I do. I thought that it would be obvious when I threw myself in the line of fire for you, but I guess not. Do you need a bigger clue Jason? Do you want me to write a huge sign and put it on the golden gate bridge?
[She's teasing him and it feels good, and soft, and wonderful. All because of that little smile.]
[ his smile grows a little more when her hand slides along his skin to cup his cheek, and he looks at her again. ]
I mean, we're Titans. That's kinda what we do.
[how's he supposed to leave now? how's he supposed to go away, knowing she has feeling for him too? she shouldn't, and he shouldn't either, but...fuck it, his heart is telling him. she has feelings for him too, and he's so easily swept up and away by them.]
I don't need grand gestures, though. It's the little things that count.
Good, cause the last thing I ever want is for you to get hurt.
[they're so close again. too close, and he can feel his heart beat speeding up. there's no way he could ever stop these intense feelings if he stayed here.
he knows they still have to figure this out, but right now he stupidly wants to get lost in these feelings. god, he's always so stupid, and so is his heart.]
Felt good to kick their asses. Felt fucking amazing all up until that last part.
[They're too close and if anyone were to walk in they would instantly know what's between them but she doesn't care, she feels too happy to care. This moment is for them and them alone and she's not about to let it get spoiled by fear, they've both felt too much of that in the past 24 hours.]
You did so good.
[He was more than good out there, he was a hero and she feels so proud of him.]
[ he's definitely smiling now, her praise making him feel all warm inside. or maybe it's that they're so close. probably both, because he likes both things a lot, and he's definitely letting himself get caught up in it. but why the hell not? she's smiling, even though she's hurt, and he's feeling good right now. ]
Hey, I am not. I'm just good at what I do.
[there's a slightly cocky hint to his tone, before he lets out a soft laugh.]
[ it's good that she likes it, cause sometimes it comes out in droves. he's not doing it to hide anything right now, though. he just feels a little better about things. about himself, and maybe this thing they've got going on- whatever it is. ]
Okay.
[he lets out a soft breath, looking down at her lips when her hand moves into his hair. fuck, this is how they got in trouble last time. he licks his lips, then pulls back away from her forehead so he can really look at her.]
So here's the thing... I really wanna kiss you, but... I'm not the kinda guy who just goes around kissing people. People who are with someone else. I feel so fucking guilty about last time, Dawn. It's tearing me apart.
If you're not with him then you need to tell him that. I don't wanna be that kinda person, ok? But I don't wanna push you to do anything either, because I don't know... I don't know what this is, or what it can be. I don't even know if we should.
[She lets out a soft sigh but doesn't remove the hand in his hair, instead she pulls it through his tangle of curls and then does it again, smoothing it back as she nods.]
I don't know what this is either I just know that I want it and I want you, Jason. You make me feel....
[She pauses and then clears her throat, forcing herself to get back on track and not lost in his eyes.]
But you're right. I don't want to kiss you if it makes you feel torn up like that. I'll deal with Hank.
[ he reaches up and pushes her hair back, tucking it behind her ear, leaving his hand there to caress he cheek with his thumb. he lets out a soft, shaky breath, but it's a happy one. she wants him. ]
Just think about it, okay? Do what's right for you. I don't want you to rush this and then feel like you made a big mistake. I'm not... I'm not someone you should give things up for.
[The fact that he is urging her not to rush and to do what's right for her only helps cement her feelings for him and she smiles and leans her face into his hand.]
I fully disagree with that statement.
[She says and lifts her eyes to look into his.]
I know I can't kiss you but can you stay for a while longer? And hold me?
I know you do, and that's sweet, but. I just want you to think about that part too, okay?
[he keeps his thumb moving across her skin, just looking at her. he was so fucked up over everything that happened earlier, and then so scared when she got hurt tonight. but now he feels relieved. he feels like there's some hope.]
Yeah, I can. Dick said he was gonna come back down and check on you in like...
[he looks over at the time on one of the monitors.]
[ Jason kicks his shoes off and climbs into the bed carefully so as not to jostle her around too much, sitting down next to her. he fluffs up her pillow a little before sliding his arm around her neck so he can pull her close to him. ]
[She smiles at the way he fluffs up her pillow, it's sweet, especially since she doesn't bother using it. Instead she nuzzles her head into the crook of his arm and chest and slides her arm around his waist.]
Nope. This is perfect, thank you.
[She says and sighs, her body starting to relax and her heart finally feeling light.]
[ he's a little tense as he glances towards the door, but no one's coming in for a while... he hopes. but the way she nuzzles into him, relaxing the way she does, he can't help but do the same.
he lets his fingers slide up and down her arm, letting his head rest against hers. ]
Thanks. For today. I just realized I never even said thank you for what you did. I'd trade spots with you in an instant though, I hope you know. But... I'm still grateful for what you did.
[ laying here with her, he can feel himself start to relax more and more, the stress of the day finally releasing into tiredness. he doesn't want to fall asleep though. he's still nervous about Dick or Hank coming back.
he wishes he would just not give a shit, but he does. ]
Of course. I'd do anything to protect you... even though I know you'd hardly ever need me to. Guess this just means we're good at lookin' out for each other, huh.
[Hank and Dick are the furthest things from her mind right now, even if they did come into the room she doesn't know if she could muster the energy to care. Not when she feels so comforted and held by Jason.]
Mmmmm. Yeah, exactly.
[She says sleepily and nuzzles against him even more, she can feel herself starting to drift back down into a deep sleep but there's no fear this time. No pain. She's safe in Jason's arms.]
[Jason cares. he knows how terribly that would fuck things up, and that's not how he wants this to be, especially now that he knows she has feeling for him too. he wants to be able to hold on to that.]
Get some sleep, ok? I'll wake you before I gotta go.
[as much as he wouldn't want to wake her, he also knows it's better not to wake up alone and wonder where the other person went. he'd hate that.
he wants to tell her that he loves her, but it's a lot right now, so he drops a kiss into her hair instead.]
[She says and makes a soft noise when she feels him kiss her head, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips as she falls into a restful slumber.]
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His words wash over her and she tightens her grip on him, her heart rate spiking and something inside of her flutters again, like the wings of an injured dove.]
Please don't apologize for that...you shouldn't ever have to apologize for loving someone.
[She says and nuzzles her face deeper into his neck, breathing in his scent, savoring it along with his warmth and the feeling of him being with her. He feels so good and every time she thinks about letting go it makes her ache, she wants him around, she wants to see him smile, she wants to hold him like this all the time....and...]
Especially when that someone might be feeling similar things.
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I know, but it's...
[he trails off, because he doesn't want to say that it's fucked up out loud. he doesn't want it to be fucked up. but how can it not be when she's still with someone else, and this thing between them was never supposed to happen. this isn't who he is, and they can never be together, he knows that.
but then...]
What?
[it aches to pull away from her, but he does, just a little bit so he can see her face.]
...What do you mean?
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I have feelings for you.
[She admits softly.]
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there's even a small smile that touches the corners of his lips, right before he looks down. ]
...Oh.
[this makes things a hell of a lot more complicated and maybe even terrible, but right now it's hard for him to feel any of that anymore. he can't help it. it makes the ache lessen. it makes him happy, even though he knows it shouldn't.]
You do?
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Yeah, yeah I do. I thought that it would be obvious when I threw myself in the line of fire for you, but I guess not. Do you need a bigger clue Jason? Do you want me to write a huge sign and put it on the golden gate bridge?
[She's teasing him and it feels good, and soft, and wonderful. All because of that little smile.]
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I mean, we're Titans. That's kinda what we do.
[how's he supposed to leave now? how's he supposed to go away, knowing she has feeling for him too? she shouldn't, and he shouldn't either, but...fuck it, his heart is telling him. she has feelings for him too, and he's so easily swept up and away by them.]
I don't need grand gestures, though. It's the little things that count.
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[She says with a little laugh and uses the hand on his cheek to bring his face closer to hers, resting her forehead against his.]
You were amazing by the way, out there. Fighting those guys.
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[they're so close again. too close, and he can feel his heart beat speeding up. there's no way he could ever stop these intense feelings if he stayed here.
he knows they still have to figure this out, but right now he stupidly wants to get lost in these feelings. god, he's always so stupid, and so is his heart.]
Felt good to kick their asses. Felt fucking amazing all up until that last part.
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You did so good.
[He was more than good out there, he was a hero and she feels so proud of him.]
Top of the class, A+....
[She says and then smiles at him.]
Teacher's pet.
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Hey, I am not. I'm just good at what I do.
[there's a slightly cocky hint to his tone, before he lets out a soft laugh.]
...Guess that means I should probably stay, huh?
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[Oh that cocky little tone of his, it drives most people insane but ever since she first met him it's made her smile and it does the same now.]
You better.
[She says and lets the hand on his cheek move up into his hair, tangling her fingers up in his curls.]
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Okay.
[he lets out a soft breath, looking down at her lips when her hand moves into his hair. fuck, this is how they got in trouble last time. he licks his lips, then pulls back away from her forehead so he can really look at her.]
So here's the thing... I really wanna kiss you, but... I'm not the kinda guy who just goes around kissing people. People who are with someone else. I feel so fucking guilty about last time, Dawn. It's tearing me apart.
If you're not with him then you need to tell him that. I don't wanna be that kinda person, ok? But I don't wanna push you to do anything either, because I don't know... I don't know what this is, or what it can be. I don't even know if we should.
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I don't know what this is either I just know that I want it and I want you, Jason. You make me feel....
[She pauses and then clears her throat, forcing herself to get back on track and not lost in his eyes.]
But you're right. I don't want to kiss you if it makes you feel torn up like that. I'll deal with Hank.
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Just think about it, okay? Do what's right for you. I don't want you to rush this and then feel like you made a big mistake. I'm not... I'm not someone you should give things up for.
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I fully disagree with that statement.
[She says and lifts her eyes to look into his.]
I know I can't kiss you but can you stay for a while longer? And hold me?
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[he keeps his thumb moving across her skin, just looking at her. he was so fucked up over everything that happened earlier, and then so scared when she got hurt tonight. but now he feels relieved. he feels like there's some hope.]
Yeah, I can. Dick said he was gonna come back down and check on you in like...
[he looks over at the time on one of the monitors.]
Forty minutes. I can stay till then? That okay?
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Yeah.
[She says and scoots over in the medical bed, making room for him to lay down with her.]
Yeah, that's more than okay. That would be really nice.
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This okay? You're not hurting, are you?
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Nope. This is perfect, thank you.
[She says and sighs, her body starting to relax and her heart finally feeling light.]
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he lets his fingers slide up and down her arm, letting his head rest against hers. ]
Thanks. For today. I just realized I never even said thank you for what you did. I'd trade spots with you in an instant though, I hope you know. But... I'm still grateful for what you did.
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You're welcome and I know you would.
[She gives him a small squeeze.]
I hope you know how grateful I am for what you did for me, stopping that guy and hanging onto me when I was hurt.
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he wishes he would just not give a shit, but he does. ]
Of course. I'd do anything to protect you... even though I know you'd hardly ever need me to. Guess this just means we're good at lookin' out for each other, huh.
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Mmmmm. Yeah, exactly.
[She says sleepily and nuzzles against him even more, she can feel herself starting to drift back down into a deep sleep but there's no fear this time. No pain. She's safe in Jason's arms.]
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Get some sleep, ok? I'll wake you before I gotta go.
[as much as he wouldn't want to wake her, he also knows it's better not to wake up alone and wonder where the other person went. he'd hate that.
he wants to tell her that he loves her, but it's a lot right now, so he drops a kiss into her hair instead.]
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[She says and makes a soft noise when she feels him kiss her head, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips as she falls into a restful slumber.]
((ooc: leave this thread here?))
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