Overflow Threads

[dawn_is_breaking]

Comments

[nomorefear]

[ There are so many voices in his head that tell him he's weak, pathetic, vulnerable. But he always has been, hasn't he. None of that has ever changed no matter how many times he's been dragged through the dirt. No matter how many times he's dragged others down with him.

He doesn't want it to matter anymore.

Dawn makes him feel like maybe it doesn't matter anymore.

Eventually he quiets down, exhaustion taking over as he fully slumps against her, knowing full well that he's an absolute mess right now, but trying not to care. ]

[dawn_is_breaking]

[She continues to hold him even as his tears start to taper off, stroking his hair and back gently, and eventually after he's quieted down for a while she kisses the top of his head.]

Hey.

[She says softly, brushing her one hand against his cheek in an effort to get him to look up at her.]

Jason?

[nomorefear]

[ He's exhausted, and he feels so much loss, but maybe all this heaviness had to come out of him at some point. He was a bad kid, but he tried. He was a shitty person, but he always hoped for love. When so much of that was ripped away from him, he felt empty. A shell of a person who was so easily manipulated by those who acted like they could fill him up.

Maybe that's always been the problem. He never felt like he could fill any of his cracks himself.

But now he's not any of those things. He's just here in this place with Dawn, and there's something else here again. But fuck, he's so scared of it.]

Yeah?

[dawn_is_breaking]

[She waits for him to slowly lift his head up to look at her and then places a few kisses under each eye, as if wanting to kiss his tears away. She pauses and then presses her lips to his, kissing him softly and sweetly.]

It's okay. [She whispers against his lips, still holding him.]

[nomorefear]

[ It's hard for him to look at her right now, but he tries, glancing up at her slowly. He can only keep them open for so long, though- closing them when she kisses under his eyes, then his lips in a way that's so soft, so gentle.

She still wants to kiss him. He can hardly believe it.

But it's those words of hers that try to sink into him the most. It's okay. He's so desperate for it. He wants this to be real this time.

So he nods against her lips, then kisses her, because he doesn't want all that anger, all that hate, all that guilt anymore. He wants this.]

[dawn_is_breaking]

[There's a warmth between them that has nothing to do with his fever and she moves into it fully, wanting to show him as much comfort and sweetness as she can.]

I want you, Jason. I want this. [She says when she finally breaks the kiss again.] You've been hurt a lot so we can go slow, but I just need you to know that I want you and care about you.

[nomorefear]

[ It feels unreal at the same time that it feels true, and normally that might be a war inside his head, but nothing feels normal anymore. ]

I want this too. I care about you too. I want you.

[That's the truth. It's been his truth for a while now, but this is the only time he's really been able to admit it.]

[dawn_is_breaking]

[Hearing him say those words makes her feel dizzy with happiness and relief. She had thought that maybe he had a crush on her, there had certainly been enough moments between them to support that, but she was afraid that maybe that was it. That she was developing one sided feelings for him.

But now, to hear that he wants her, wants what she wants, is such a wonderful thing and she utters a little sigh of joy before kissing him again.]

[nomorefear]

[ Did she really think all this could be was a crush? That all this time, all this guilt and anguish was over something like that?

It's probably better he doesn't know that, especially because she's kissing him yet again. He kisses back, the tightness in his chest slowly dissipating. It's okay. He hears her words in his head and it has him kissing her even deeper, sliding a hand up to her face. ]

[dawn_is_breaking]

[Between him not always being the easiest to read and her own guilt about feeling so strongly about him it's only natural that she would worry the he might only have a crush on her. It's been a long time since she's had someone new in her life like this so she's trying to remember the cues.

But it doesn't matter now, they've both said it out loud at last and she can feel his desire for her in the way he kisses her deeper. She opens her mouth to him and begins to let herself slide down into bed with him, encouraging him with her hands and tongue.]

[nomorefear]

[ Maybe it's the same thing as him wondering if she only wants him like this because of trauma. It's not as if trauma bonding isn't a thing, but it's just a little more fucked up when he's the one who caused it.

They've been here together like this for a while now though and trauma bonding or crushes just don't seem to be so important anymore.

He brushes his tongue in against hers when her lips part, but then he doesn't wait too much longer before he's all in, kissing her deeper as he slides his hands up her back. ]

[dawn_is_breaking]

[She moans softly into his mouth as his hands slide up her back and his tongue goes even deeper. She can feel her body heating up, becoming flushed and she chases it by pressing herself closer. Wrapping one of her strong legs around his hip, almost pulling him in against her.]

[nomorefear]

[ He gets pulled in against her and it feels good. It feels so damn good and so he leans into it and into it some more. But that's all he does for now as he kisses her.

Still, his fingers dig into her back as he holds her closer, dragging out the kiss for as long as he can. ]

[dawn_is_breaking]

[Eventually they have to pause to catch their breath and when they do she hugs him tightly, her heart beating so quickly she wonders if he can feel it through her chest.]

....wow. You're a fantastic kisser.

[She says softly but then clears her throat and pulls away enough to touch his forehead.]

How are you feeling?

[nomorefear]

[ He might be able to feel it through her chest if his heart wasn't beating just as hard, just as quickly. He hasn't felt quite like this for a very long time, and now suddenly he's feeling it all at once and-- it's a lot.

When she breaks the kiss to compliment him, he ducks his head a little, a soft smile forming on his face.]

So are you.

I'm... I have no idea. I feel terrible and wonderful all at the same time, so I'm just gonna stick with the good one.

[dawn_is_breaking]

[His soft smile is one of her favorites, it's so genuine and beautiful and she smiles at him when he compliments her back.]

Okay good, I mean.... It's not good that you feel terrible, that's not good. But I think your fever is coming down a bit.

[She giggles softly and bites her lower lip shyly.]

Well your sick fever...

[Maybe not his other one.]

[nomorefear]

I think so too. I feel like maybe that was the last terrible shit of it.

[Waking up from his nightmare he felt terrible and feverish, but now he doesn't feel as bad anymore. Maybe it's just the meds, and he's generally pretty bad at figuring out how sick he is, cause he tends to push through- but he really does feel less terrible now.]

Are you calling me hot?

[dawn_is_breaking]

[Her cheeks go pink and she proceeds to try and hide in her hair a bit.]

Maybe.....yes.

[nomorefear]

[ Jason watches her for a moment before he slides his fingers under her chin, slowly running his thumb just under her lips, even if she's trying to hide her face. ]

You're so beautiful.

[dawn_is_breaking]

[The way he runs his thumb just under her lips causes her skin to tingle and a pulse to run its way all down her body and she looks up into his eyes.]

So are you.

[nomorefear]

[ Jason's still not sure how she sees what she sees when she looks at him, but he knows she's being sincere. Her eyes are so big and captivating, the looks she gives him drawing him in like nothing else. Still, he wants to make sure. ]

Is this really okay?

[dawn_is_breaking]

[If he could see what she sees then maybe he'd be less hard on himself, or maybe he'd get a bit of that cocky confidence back.]

Yes. Absolutely.

[She says, her big brown eyes locking onto his.]

I've been wanting to kiss you for a while now.

[nomorefear]

[ He doesn't think he'll ever get that cocky confidence back. It's just not in him anymore after everything that's happened. It was all fake confidence anyway, for the most part.]

So have I.

[He says quietly, looking at her too.]

But I didn't think I should.

[dawn_is_breaking]

[Her eyes open even wider and she blinks in surprise, a small breathe catching in her throat as she feels a warm pulse go through her.]

Really? You have?

[She tilts her face to capture his lips in a brief but sweet kiss.]

Well you can and you should. Because I want you to. As often as you want.

[nomorefear]

Of course I have. You knew that I did, didn't you?

[He didn't think it was that much of a surprise, so he looks a little confused by her reaction. They've been dancing around it for a while now, close enough and yet too far away. They've been right on the edge of it and he wonders, if she's so surprised, what she was actually thinking all those times.

He kisses her back though, because how can he not?]

Okay. I can do that.