Jason's gaze shifts down again. oh, that. right. because she is right, of course, but it's hard for him to feel anything sensibly right or wrong when it comes to all of it. she's right, but he also killed people. he killed Hank. it's hard for his mind not to go back to that, even if that's not exactly what she's talking about. ]
[ it's so easy for him to get lost in it- in his overwhelming guilt and sadness and all of his emotions. that's what pushed him over the edge in the first place, isn't it? all of it being so very overwhelming.
but it's a little different thing time.
he has someone reaching out to him. and it's not someone evil or dirty like Crane. it's the light that is Dawn.
he feels her hand on his and he lets himself feel it deeply. it gets him to nod, looking up at her again while his turns his hand a little to be able to run his thumb across her skin. ]
[Her skin tingles pleasantly when he rubs his thumb across her hand and she finds herself staring into his eyes when he lifts his head back up. His eyes are so different now, full of a depth of emotion she would never think someone his age could have, but then again most people don't go through what he did in the span of their entire lives and he's been forced to do it in a few years.]
[ with that said, Jason thinks she's going to keep that honesty going, tell him what she's thinking or what she's feeling, especially because he told her that he didn't know what to say.
but she doesn't, and he's left hanging a little, and he's still not entirely sure what to say. he feels stupid saying that again, though.]
[Of course he asks her what they are supposed to do now and she opens her mouth to say something but pauses, a loss for words because she's not really sure what to do or say either. Finally though she chuckles and gives his hand a comforting squeeze.]
Honestly? I have no idea. I just know that I don't want either of us to feel awkward around the other.
[ he wants to remind her that they weren't feeling all that awkward before she said what she said earlier, so she might want to talk about that- but maybe she was already feeling awkward beforehand and she doesn't want to talk about it- and he's real shit at this sort of thing now anyway. whatever this thing is.
he's not sure if saying any of that is a good idea, even if she did say she wanted them to be honest with each other. maybe she's just not ready for it. he won't let himself get disappointed over it. ]
It's fine. We're fine.
[he squeezes her hand a little too, then lets go and shifts a bit so he can pick up his plate.]
[She feels like she keeps taking one step forward and then another back and she struggles to try and figure out what it is she's supposed to say. Does he want her to explain everything? How she feels? How can she do that when she's not really sure of it herself?]
Yeah.
[She says and helps herself to some of the salad he's made, chewing on it slowly as she still tries to think of something to say that will help the situation.]
[ he sits back a little once he puts enough food on his plate and starts eating. the pizza is delicious and the vegetables are fresh. it's really a nice dinner.
once it's clear they're not going to address anything from earlier, Jason decides to shift entirely to the other thing that won't leave his mind. ]
[A part of her breathes a sigh of relief when he says that Dick picked up, which means he's safe and okay, but another part is also relieved that Jason didn't say anything because she doesn't want Dick to know about the two of them being together in Paris.]
I....do you still want me to message Dick tomorrow like you mentioned earlier? To check in on them all?
[ he puts his plate back down, drawing his legs up to cross under him on the couch. he still feels like this is a lot to ask of her, but he needs to know if they're all alright. calling Dick tonight and hearing his voice had helped a little, but there's so much more to it than that. ]
Yeah. I just need to know. I need to know that I didn't leave them dying. Not them too.
[he doesn't like it either. the thought of leaving them to die feels even worse, though. what he hopes to hear is that Crane is dead instead. Jason almost wishes he were back there so he could finish the piece of shit off himself.]
[Dawn would happily help Jason finish Crane off if he were to ever show up again, after all it was Crane who had been pulling Jason's strings while he was drugged.]
I know you do. But Jason....what if Dick asks me about you? What should I say?
[ they could finish him off together. wouldn't that be something? or maybe not, because they don't need that shit here. they're far away from it. or trying to be, anyway. ]
Why would he ask you about me? He didn't trace my call. It was only for a second, and I've got a burner phone.
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I appreciate that, thank you. I...like that we can be honest with each other, it feels important considering...
[She pauses, taking a deep breath.]
Considering everything that you've been through.
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he does furrow his eyebrows at her words, though.]
What I've been through?
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Jason's gaze shifts down again. oh, that. right. because she is right, of course, but it's hard for him to feel anything sensibly right or wrong when it comes to all of it. she's right, but he also killed people. he killed Hank. it's hard for his mind not to go back to that, even if that's not exactly what she's talking about. ]
Yeah. It's important.
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So even if it causes a few moments of awkwardness, like earlier, I'd like for us to try and keep that honesty going.
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but it's a little different thing time.
he has someone reaching out to him. and it's not someone evil or dirty like Crane. it's the light that is Dawn.
he feels her hand on his and he lets himself feel it deeply. it gets him to nod, looking up at her again while his turns his hand a little to be able to run his thumb across her skin. ]
Me too. I'd like that.
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Good.
[She says softly and smiles.]
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but she doesn't, and he's left hanging a little, and he's still not entirely sure what to say. he feels stupid saying that again, though.]
So. Now what?
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Honestly? I have no idea. I just know that I don't want either of us to feel awkward around the other.
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he's not sure if saying any of that is a good idea, even if she did say she wanted them to be honest with each other. maybe she's just not ready for it. he won't let himself get disappointed over it. ]
It's fine. We're fine.
[he squeezes her hand a little too, then lets go and shifts a bit so he can pick up his plate.]
We should eat.
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Yeah.
[She says and helps herself to some of the salad he's made, chewing on it slowly as she still tries to think of something to say that will help the situation.]
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once it's clear they're not going to address anything from earlier, Jason decides to shift entirely to the other thing that won't leave his mind. ]
So... I called Dick.
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You did? What....did you tell him?
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Nothing. I called him just to see if... I wanted to make sure he'd pick up and he did, and then I hung up. I didn't say anything to him. I couldn't.
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I....do you still want me to message Dick tomorrow like you mentioned earlier? To check in on them all?
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I know that's putting a lot of pressure on you, so you don't have to if you don't want to.
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Yeah. It would.
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[She says, almost immediately.]
Did you want me to use speaker phone so you can hear everything as well?
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Yeah. I just need to know. I need to know that I didn't leave them dying. Not them too.
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[She says softly, part of her wincing at his comment about dying.]
I'll call Dick tomorrow morning after we have breakfast.
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[he doesn't like it either. the thought of leaving them to die feels even worse, though. what he hopes to hear is that Crane is dead instead. Jason almost wishes he were back there so he could finish the piece of shit off himself.]
Thanks. I really appreciate it.
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I know you do. But Jason....what if Dick asks me about you? What should I say?
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Why would he ask you about me? He didn't trace my call. It was only for a second, and I've got a burner phone.
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[She pauses to tuck back a strand of hair that has fallen.]
Feeling a bit paranoid I guess, and nervous.
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ooc: figured we would skip ahead a little to the next morning
sorry Dawn ;_;
ohhh nooooo!
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