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[dawn_is_breaking]

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[nomorefear]

[ it's so easy for him to get lost in it- in his overwhelming guilt and sadness and all of his emotions. that's what pushed him over the edge in the first place, isn't it? all of it being so very overwhelming.

but it's a little different thing time.

he has someone reaching out to him. and it's not someone evil or dirty like Crane. it's the light that is Dawn.

he feels her hand on his and he lets himself feel it deeply. it gets him to nod, looking up at her again while his turns his hand a little to be able to run his thumb across her skin. ]

Me too. I'd like that.

[dawn_is_breaking]

[Her skin tingles pleasantly when he rubs his thumb across her hand and she finds herself staring into his eyes when he lifts his head back up. His eyes are so different now, full of a depth of emotion she would never think someone his age could have, but then again most people don't go through what he did in the span of their entire lives and he's been forced to do it in a few years.]

Good.

[She says softly and smiles.]

[nomorefear]

[ with that said, Jason thinks she's going to keep that honesty going, tell him what she's thinking or what she's feeling, especially because he told her that he didn't know what to say.

but she doesn't, and he's left hanging a little, and he's still not entirely sure what to say. he feels stupid saying that again, though.]

So. Now what?

[dawn_is_breaking]

[Of course he asks her what they are supposed to do now and she opens her mouth to say something but pauses, a loss for words because she's not really sure what to do or say either. Finally though she chuckles and gives his hand a comforting squeeze.]

Honestly? I have no idea. I just know that I don't want either of us to feel awkward around the other.

[nomorefear]

[ he wants to remind her that they weren't feeling all that awkward before she said what she said earlier, so she might want to talk about that- but maybe she was already feeling awkward beforehand and she doesn't want to talk about it- and he's real shit at this sort of thing now anyway. whatever this thing is.

he's not sure if saying any of that is a good idea, even if she did say she wanted them to be honest with each other. maybe she's just not ready for it. he won't let himself get disappointed over it. ]

It's fine. We're fine.

[he squeezes her hand a little too, then lets go and shifts a bit so he can pick up his plate.]

We should eat.

[dawn_is_breaking]

[She feels like she keeps taking one step forward and then another back and she struggles to try and figure out what it is she's supposed to say. Does he want her to explain everything? How she feels? How can she do that when she's not really sure of it herself?]

Yeah.

[She says and helps herself to some of the salad he's made, chewing on it slowly as she still tries to think of something to say that will help the situation.]

[nomorefear]

[ he sits back a little once he puts enough food on his plate and starts eating. the pizza is delicious and the vegetables are fresh. it's really a nice dinner.

once it's clear they're not going to address anything from earlier, Jason decides to shift entirely to the other thing that won't leave his mind. ]

So... I called Dick.

[dawn_is_breaking]

[She pauses and looks at him, eyes wide.]

You did? What....did you tell him?

[nomorefear]

[ he shakes his head, feeling a little frustrated at himself, but... he knows he couldn't have done anything more than he did. ]

Nothing. I called him just to see if... I wanted to make sure he'd pick up and he did, and then I hung up. I didn't say anything to him. I couldn't.

[dawn_is_breaking]

[A part of her breathes a sigh of relief when he says that Dick picked up, which means he's safe and okay, but another part is also relieved that Jason didn't say anything because she doesn't want Dick to know about the two of them being together in Paris.]

I....do you still want me to message Dick tomorrow like you mentioned earlier? To check in on them all?

[nomorefear]

[ they're definitely on the same page with that one. ]

I know that's putting a lot of pressure on you, so you don't have to if you don't want to.

[dawn_is_breaking]

I'll do it if you want me to. If it will help ease your mind a little bit.

[nomorefear]

[ he wonders if it's crazy of him. maybe he can find another way, but he doesn't have any of the resources he used to and he just isn't sure. ]

Yeah. It would.

[dawn_is_breaking]

Then I'll do it.

[She says, almost immediately.]

Did you want me to use speaker phone so you can hear everything as well?

[nomorefear]

[ he puts his plate back down, drawing his legs up to cross under him on the couch. he still feels like this is a lot to ask of her, but he needs to know if they're all alright. calling Dick tonight and hearing his voice had helped a little, but there's so much more to it than that. ]

Yeah. I just need to know. I need to know that I didn't leave them dying. Not them too.

[dawn_is_breaking]

Okay.

[She says softly, part of her wincing at his comment about dying.]

I'll call Dick tomorrow morning after we have breakfast.

[nomorefear]

Okay.

[he doesn't like it either. the thought of leaving them to die feels even worse, though. what he hopes to hear is that Crane is dead instead. Jason almost wishes he were back there so he could finish the piece of shit off himself.]

Thanks. I really appreciate it.

[dawn_is_breaking]

[Dawn would happily help Jason finish Crane off if he were to ever show up again, after all it was Crane who had been pulling Jason's strings while he was drugged.]

I know you do. But Jason....what if Dick asks me about you? What should I say?

[nomorefear]

[ they could finish him off together. wouldn't that be something? or maybe not, because they don't need that shit here. they're far away from it. or trying to be, anyway. ]

Why would he ask you about me? He didn't trace my call. It was only for a second, and I've got a burner phone.

[dawn_is_breaking]

You're right. Sorry....I just....

[She pauses to tuck back a strand of hair that has fallen.]

Feeling a bit paranoid I guess, and nervous.

[nomorefear]

There's no way he could know.

[they know he disappeared but not where he went off to. this is the last place in the world he should be, so he can't imagine Dick would even fathom the thought.

he does wonder though, if they looked for him. maybe that part didn't matter as long as he was gone.]

I don't think he'd ever consider that I'm here. Not in a million years.

[dawn_is_breaking]

You're right.

[She says again, trying to let it sink in and make the nervous feeling in her stomach go away. Even if Dick had gone looking for him he wouldn't have found anything, except maybe some blood at Wayne Manor from when Jason broke in to get the tracker out.]

I'm jumping at shadows. I just don't want anything to ruin this.

[nomorefear]

I doubt they even looked for me. They were probably just....happy I was gone.

[just like before when he left Titan's Tower. this time with good reason, of course. he wonders if they know he just couldn't hurt them any longer. at this point it probably doesn't matter.

the way she says it though... like this matters to her so much. it's a lot to take in.]

They won't. I just need to know if they're all alive and ok. And what happened with Crane. I need to know that he's not out there. And if Gotham will be ok again.

[dawn_is_breaking]

[It hurts her to hear him speak so dismissively about himself but she can't really argue with it, after what he did the Titans probably were relieved that he left. When he mentions Crane she nods, feeling a slight twinge of hate.]

It's good that you want to know for sure.

[She says and then sighs, rubbing at her eyes with the back of her hand.]

I....I kind of feel like an awful person for not checking on them sooner but....

[nomorefear]

[everyone has always been relieved when he's left, so it's really nothing new. even so it always hurt, but now he gets it. it doesn't hurt anymore. deep down he wants himself gone too.]

It's all I've wanted to know since I got here.

[he says quietly, looking at her.]

Don't. You have your reasons. I feel like a fucking terrible person for asking you to do this.