[ he's careful as he sits up- because of his back, but also because he's confused too, and she seems upset now. again, he's ready to apologize, but it feels hollow and he doesn't want to make things worse. she doesn't seem upset at him anyway. not when she squeezed him like that before moving away from him.
[She pulls herself up into a sitting position as well, pushing both of her hands through her hair to help reset herself.]
Yeah, I'm good. Just....
[Just what? Just thinking about how warm his skin was, how nice it felt being in his arms, how his reaction to her mentioning different positions made her heart skip and the area between her legs flush with heat?]
Just feeling a lot of things right now.
[Like sexual frustration? Her mind whispers and she bites her lip.]
Nothing bad, I promise. Just....lots of little things.
[ he furrows his eyebrows a little, but nods. feeling lots of things- he gets that. he gets it a lot. ]
Okay.
...sorry.
[either way, because he knows in some shape or form it does have to do with him, even if he can't put his finger on it.]
I'll give you some space to think.
[he climbs out of bed carefully, adjusting his shirt as he stands. he does one slow stretch of his arms up as he does so, glancing at her before he heads out of the room so he can go do some stretches on her yoga mat.]
[She opens her mouth to tell him that he doesn't have to apologize, that it isn't his fault, if anything it's hers. But then he's climbing out of bed and she can't help catching a peek of his skin before he adjusts his shirt, and she suddenly feels guilty all over again.]
Sure, I'll be out a in few moments to warm up the pizza.
[She tells him and once he leaves she falls back onto her back with a sigh.]
[ Jason's not really a stretching kind of person. he's never been good at keeping it slow, or breathing, or any of that shit. luckily neither Bruce or Dick ever made him do too much of it because getting him to do so was more trouble than it was worth to them. much like everything else having to do with Jason.
but at the time he was cool with that part, at least.
right now though, he feels like he could use it. he hesitates for a moment, then peels his t-shirt off so he can stretch and move a little, folding it and putting it next to the mat before he starts to do a few stretches he remembers, to try and even his sore body out. ]
[Dawn lays in bed for a long moment, trying to figure out what's going on in her head, not to mention her body. Her thoughts feel all over the place and she groans and rolls over into the spot where Jason had been laying and immediately she can smell his scent on the sheets, a subtle masculine smell that is both soothing and arousing to her.]
Fuck.
[She says and immediately sits back up, shoving the covers and thoughts away and forcing herself to get up. She's not figuring anything out, she's just laying around and confusing herself further so she decides that maybe doing some work in the kitchen will help, plus Jason's probably hungry by now.
She pushes her hair back again and heads out of the bedroom but when she passed by the living room she stops in her tracks.]
SORRY DAWN. sorry not sorry lmao. here have another one while he internally monologues lol
[ it hurts when he stretches, especially cause he's been laying around for a while- but it also feels good. his body has been taking a beating for a while now. not just with this truck incident, but back in Gotham too. with Crane, the drugs, Nightwing. The Joker.
it's strange how he hasn't felt like he's been connected to his body since Crane brought him back. it makes sense, but it's still weird. maybe that's why he was more susceptible to the drugs and to all the shit being whispered into his ear. it's hard to maintain yourself when your vessel no longer feels like your own.
and he's always been detached from himself in a way. he's always hated himself in so many ways. Robin over Jason till the bitter end. but now this is all he's left with.
so he takes a moment to just try to feel himself out as he stretches and slowly moves his body in different ways. it hurts, but it's a good kind of pain. it helps him feel a little more connected again.
when he's on the mat, legs stretched out, he turns his body to reach behind him in a stretch and he sees Dawn there, watching him. a lot like he was watching her before. ]
[The image of Jason, shirtless and stretching in her living room, makes her stop in her tracks and stare. His movements are slow and cautious, as if he is re-learning what it's like to move in his own skin.
And speaking of skin, she inhales softly as her eyes slide over every inch of exposed skin like water. He's definitely bigger than he used to be, more muscular and tightly toned. And when he stretches, the muscles in his back and arms flexing, she feels a pulse of arousal go through her.
It's of course that moment that he turns and catches her watching him, their eyes meeting and her face going a bright red.]
and now she's blushing and running off and Jason quickly gets up before he can really think twice, grabbing his shirt and tugging it on with a small wince.
maybe he shouldn't, but he follows her into the kitchen, eyebrows drawn together as he approaches. ]
Hey... it's okay. I was watching you earlier too.
[he says, and then realizes how that sounds and scowls at himslef.]
I mean. Fuck. Not in a creepy way. Just. You were out there doing the same kinda thing and. What I'm trying to say is it's cool, and I'm sorry. And I'm not even fucking sure what I'm apologizing for anymore, you just seem upset.
[Once she's in the kitchen she realizes that she's kind of trapped in there and by the time she thinks about quickly leaving he's already there, looking apologetic and concerned which just makes her blush more because here he is being so mindful of her feelings and all she can do is notice how his shirt is still partially rucked up.]
I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt or stare I...
[She starts to say when he comes in, moving towards the fridge as if she is going to get out the pizza when really she just wans to try and hide her blushing face in the fridge but then pauses when he admits to watching her earlier.]
You were?
[She asks and then shakes her head, a lock of her pale hair falling across her face.]
You don't have to apologize because you didn't do anything wrong and I'm not upset I'm just....embarrassed.
You didn't interrupt. You ran off so quick, I didn't have a chance to say anything.
[he eyes her, then shifts his gaze away, dragging his fingers through his hair.]
Yeah, I was. You were so relaxing to watch. So graceful. But what I'm saying is you don't have to apologize, I did the same thing.
[and he's embarrassed too. he wonders if he should have just kept all of that to himself, but he really doesn't want her to feel bad.]
You weren't. It's okay. I feel like I'm the one who made you uncomfortable though and I don't wanna do that. I don't want to, and I keep fucking doing it.
[there's something about the way she steps closer to him, the tone in her voice. there's something here that he's not picking up on at first. how could he possibly?
but then she mentions being in bed with him as she reaches out to touch him and he feels... fuck, he feels like he's starting to get it now.
that last part about him being an attractive, shirtless man is what really does him in though, and his mouth fall open as he blinks at her because she can't possibly. can she?]
What are you saying? That you're... that I'm... what?
[Fuck fuck fuck. She's making things worse and he looks so confused and shocked that it makes her feel even worse. She's supposed to be helping him and she's just fucking it all up and possibly hurting him.]
I....fuck, Jason I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that.
[She sighs and rakes a hand through her hair as she tries to think of a way to fix this situation. In the end she just goes with what they've been doing this whole time, she's honest with him.]
I'm saying you're attractive. And I noticed that and it....made me blush and get embarrassed because I probably shouldn't be noticing something like that about a friend.
Edited (bit more fleshed out) 2022-04-01 09:20 (UTC)
[he is confused and shocked. he's confused and shocked because while he doesn't want to jump to any conclusions, it sounds like she's attracted to him. or by him... or maybe because they were laying in bed together and he took his shirt off and now he's fucking it all up by standing here looked shocked like an idiot.]
No, you're fine. It's okay. I'm just...
[he looks down at himself, pulling his shirt at the hem, eyebrows furrowing. friend she says, as if any of this is normal. are they friends? ]
I think... I think we could both use some space, yeah? I think maybe we're just... we need a little space. I'm gonna go up to the garden.
[There's a moment of panic in her chest when he says that they need space and she tells it to stop, especially since he just wants to go up to the garden.]
Okay.
[She says softly and takes a step back from him, her stomach feeling twisted up in knots.]
[ they're with each other here, day and night. they see each other all day long, and only each other. maybe that's all it is. maybe she's just.... he's not really sure. he's not sure how to finish that sentence and it isn't fair to finish it for her, so. so they need some space.
he drags his fingers through his hair, then turns and leaves the kitchen, going to grab his shoes and a hoodie. the weather has been getting nicer, but it's still chilly up on the roof.
[She watches him leave to head up to the roof and then slowly leans against the kitchen counter, taking a few slow breaths to try and steady herself. She feels awful for making him feel uncomfortable as well as guilty for being attracted to him as it seems to have messed everything up.
And yet part of her is curious if he feels the same way, she can't forget the way he called her beautiful when he bought her that lovely blue scarf, or how he's mentioned a few times that she's like the morning sunrise.]
He's probably just being nice.
[She mutters to herself and makes herself move around the kitchen, putting away dishes.]
[Jason has tried not to think about how he feels about her. his emotions are still a jumble, and he feels like most of the time his head is still trying to break free of the hold that drug had on him.
he can't trust himself. he can't trust anything inside of himself anymore. all he can think about are the tears he cried to lur Hank to his inevitable death.
he sits on the ground near the plants they planted together, bringing his legs up against his chest. the bruise along his back stretches and it hurts to sit, but the pain is grounding. it helps him think.
the thing is, he doesn't even know what to think about. he doesn't know if he should. he ran away from Gotham because he's a murderer. not to come to Paris and fall in love with Dawn.
fall in love?? fuck. no. he shoves the thought out of his head so hard. that's not for him, not anymore. it never really was and he knew that even back then. but now he knows for sure that life is over and he doesn't deserve shit anymore. he doesn't even know if Dick and the others are alive or not and he's sitting here with Dawn, feeling all this comfort.
he pulls his phone out and punches Dick's number into it and hits send before he can stop himself. it rings a couple times before connecting and Jason can hear his very distinct and very alive Hello? Who is this? filtering through from the other end. Jason swallows hard and hangs up because he can't say anything. what would he even say?
but he's alive. at least he's alive. that doesn't solve anything with Dawn, though.]
[Moving around the kitchen, putting things away, helps bring back a little bit of order to her thoughts. She still doesn't know what to do about Jason, or her attraction towards him, but things seem a little less distraught and hopefully when he comes back they can either pretend like nothing happened or agree that it's a momentary thing that she felt and move on from there as she doesn't want this to ruin the slow but comfortable connection that they've been creating together.
She sighs and looks around the apartment, trying to decide what she should do now to try and take her mind off things. Usually she would go up to the garden but Jason is up there and she wants to give him some space, she could go read in her bedroom but part of her doesn't want to see the tousled sheets because it will just remind her of laying in bed with him. Finally she decides to have a bubble bath, it might help relax her and should Jason come back down it will still allow him some distance from her.
With that decided she grabs a book from the living room and goes to run herself a bath.]
[ Jason sits there thinking and thinking and beating himself up and then telling himself off up on the roof for a good, long time. part of him hopes that Dawn comes up here eventually, but he knows she won't. he said he needed some space and she's good at respecting that.
at respecting him.
he doesn't deserve that either, he knows that much for sure. but... that's not how this works. that's not how she is. that's not how they are with each other- and when and how that happened, he doesn't know.
and now... she called him attractive. she suggested they have more sleepovers together. she touches him in such an affectionate way. She misses Hank, his brain tells him- but he also remembers her telling him how relieved she felt that it was over. he's so confused.
but sitting up here without her isn't helping to un-confuse him, and maybe that's just it. he needs her here. he was never very good with space anyway, and in the end it isn't doing a whole lot of good. so he finally gets himself up, does a little more stretching up here on the roof, and then he heads back downstairs.
before he leaves though, he plucks a rose from the blooming bush and brings it down with him.
by the time he heads back down she's in the bathroom. he approaches slowly and slides the rose in the curl of the doorknob, then goes to heat up the pizza and make a nice salad to go with it, just to give himself something else to do. ]
[After dumping in a generous amount of bubble bath she fills the large clawfoot bathtub with water that is almost scalding hot, she then pulls her hair up into a high bun and disrobes. She sighs as she lowers herself into the tub, wincing a little at how hot it is against her skin but also enjoying the sensation, it helps ground her back in her body and less in her emotions and thoughts.
She leans back in the tub and opens her book to where she last left off and soon she finds herself so engrossed in The Tale of Monte Cristo that she doesn't hear the front door open, signaling Jason's return, she also doesn't hear him approach the bathroom door. She spends a good half an hour, lounging and soaking in the tub and by the time she climbs out and towels off she's feeling a lot more like herself. More in control.
She wraps herself up in a towel, gathers her things and goes to leave the bathroom so she can get changed into some regular clothes and not her workout gear. When she opens the door she is surprised to find the rose but there's no question as to who left it for her and instead of making her feel confused it makes her smile. She goes into her room and closes the door, letting the towel drop from around her body and for one moment she lets herself stand alone, naked, smelling the sweet aroma of the rose.
It doesn't take long for her to get changed into a big comfortable sweater and jeans and by then she can smell the pizza so she tucks the rose into her pinned up hair and heads out to the kitchen.]
[ he hears her coming out of the bathroom and his heart rate picks up. it's stupid, he tells himself. it's fine. there's plenty he's been afraid of and this doesn't need to be one of those things.
whatever this is with Dawn, it's normal and good. two very foreign things to him, but maybe that's why it should just be okay.
so he keeps up working on the salad, chopping up the fresh veggies he picked up this morning and is adding them to a big bowl when he can hear her heading towards the kitchen. when she gets here, he turns towards her and gives her a small smile, glancing at the flower in her hair before looking at her again. ]
[She says, grateful that he's smiling at her and not avoiding eye contact, it helps makes things feel a bit easier again and she comes fully into the kitchen.]
I don't know how but that pizza smells even better now.
[She says and starts taking out plates and utensils for them.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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maybe it's the awkwardness of the situation.
so instead of apologizing he asks: ]
Are you okay?
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Yeah, I'm good. Just....
[Just what? Just thinking about how warm his skin was, how nice it felt being in his arms, how his reaction to her mentioning different positions made her heart skip and the area between her legs flush with heat?]
Just feeling a lot of things right now.
[Like sexual frustration? Her mind whispers and she bites her lip.]
Nothing bad, I promise. Just....lots of little things.
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Okay.
...sorry.
[either way, because he knows in some shape or form it does have to do with him, even if he can't put his finger on it.]
I'll give you some space to think.
[he climbs out of bed carefully, adjusting his shirt as he stands. he does one slow stretch of his arms up as he does so, glancing at her before he heads out of the room so he can go do some stretches on her yoga mat.]
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Sure, I'll be out a in few moments to warm up the pizza.
[She tells him and once he leaves she falls back onto her back with a sigh.]
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but at the time he was cool with that part, at least.
right now though, he feels like he could use it. he hesitates for a moment, then peels his t-shirt off so he can stretch and move a little, folding it and putting it next to the mat before he starts to do a few stretches he remembers, to try and even his sore body out. ]
hehehe poor Dawn....
Fuck.
[She says and immediately sits back up, shoving the covers and thoughts away and forcing herself to get up. She's not figuring anything out, she's just laying around and confusing herself further so she decides that maybe doing some work in the kitchen will help, plus Jason's probably hungry by now.
She pushes her hair back again and heads out of the bedroom but when she passed by the living room she stops in her tracks.]
SORRY DAWN. sorry not sorry lmao. here have another one while he internally monologues lol
it's strange how he hasn't felt like he's been connected to his body since Crane brought him back. it makes sense, but it's still weird. maybe that's why he was more susceptible to the drugs and to all the shit being whispered into his ear. it's hard to maintain yourself when your vessel no longer feels like your own.
and he's always been detached from himself in a way. he's always hated himself in so many ways. Robin over Jason till the bitter end. but now this is all he's left with.
so he takes a moment to just try to feel himself out as he stretches and slowly moves his body in different ways. it hurts, but it's a good kind of pain. it helps him feel a little more connected again.
when he's on the mat, legs stretched out, he turns his body to reach behind him in a stretch and he sees Dawn there, watching him. a lot like he was watching her before. ]
Bwhaha I love it! XD
And speaking of skin, she inhales softly as her eyes slide over every inch of exposed skin like water. He's definitely bigger than he used to be, more muscular and tightly toned. And when he stretches, the muscles in his back and arms flexing, she feels a pulse of arousal go through her.
It's of course that moment that he turns and catches her watching him, their eyes meeting and her face going a bright red.]
Sorry!
[She breathes and hurries into the kitchen.]
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she's standing there watching him.
and now she's blushing and running off and Jason quickly gets up before he can really think twice, grabbing his shirt and tugging it on with a small wince.
maybe he shouldn't, but he follows her into the kitchen, eyebrows drawn together as he approaches. ]
Hey... it's okay. I was watching you earlier too.
[he says, and then realizes how that sounds and scowls at himslef.]
I mean. Fuck. Not in a creepy way. Just. You were out there doing the same kinda thing and. What I'm trying to say is it's cool, and I'm sorry. And I'm not even fucking sure what I'm apologizing for anymore, you just seem upset.
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I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt or stare I...
[She starts to say when he comes in, moving towards the fridge as if she is going to get out the pizza when really she just wans to try and hide her blushing face in the fridge but then pauses when he admits to watching her earlier.]
You were?
[She asks and then shakes her head, a lock of her pale hair falling across her face.]
You don't have to apologize because you didn't do anything wrong and I'm not upset I'm just....embarrassed.
[She finally admits.]
I didn't mean to watch you like a creeper.
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[he eyes her, then shifts his gaze away, dragging his fingers through his hair.]
Yeah, I was. You were so relaxing to watch. So graceful. But what I'm saying is you don't have to apologize, I did the same thing.
[and he's embarrassed too. he wonders if he should have just kept all of that to himself, but he really doesn't want her to feel bad.]
You weren't. It's okay. I feel like I'm the one who made you uncomfortable though and I don't wanna do that. I don't want to, and I keep fucking doing it.
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[She says and closes the fridge door so that it's no longer between them and takes a step closer to him.]
You make me feel quite the opposite actually. Being in bed with you felt comfortable and nice and....
[She reaches up to brush back one of his curls.]
And it's just surprising in a way because we haven't known each other for very long.
[Her eyes meet his briefly and then she clears her throat, her cheeks going pink again.]
I uh...also haven't been around an attractive shirtless man in a while so....
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but then she mentions being in bed with him as she reaches out to touch him and he feels... fuck, he feels like he's starting to get it now.
that last part about him being an attractive, shirtless man is what really does him in though, and his mouth fall open as he blinks at her because she can't possibly. can she?]
What are you saying? That you're... that I'm... what?
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I....fuck, Jason I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that.
[She sighs and rakes a hand through her hair as she tries to think of a way to fix this situation. In the end she just goes with what they've been doing this whole time, she's honest with him.]
I'm saying you're attractive. And I noticed that and it....made me blush and get embarrassed because I probably shouldn't be noticing something like that about a friend.
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No, you're fine. It's okay. I'm just...
[he looks down at himself, pulling his shirt at the hem, eyebrows furrowing. friend she says, as if any of this is normal. are they friends? ]
I think... I think we could both use some space, yeah? I think maybe we're just... we need a little space. I'm gonna go up to the garden.
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Okay.
[She says softly and takes a step back from him, her stomach feeling twisted up in knots.]
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he drags his fingers through his hair, then turns and leaves the kitchen, going to grab his shoes and a hoodie. the weather has been getting nicer, but it's still chilly up on the roof.
it'll be good to get some air. ]
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And yet part of her is curious if he feels the same way, she can't forget the way he called her beautiful when he bought her that lovely blue scarf, or how he's mentioned a few times that she's like the morning sunrise.]
He's probably just being nice.
[She mutters to herself and makes herself move around the kitchen, putting away dishes.]
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he can't trust himself. he can't trust anything inside of himself anymore. all he can think about are the tears he cried to lur Hank to his inevitable death.
he sits on the ground near the plants they planted together, bringing his legs up against his chest. the bruise along his back stretches and it hurts to sit, but the pain is grounding. it helps him think.
the thing is, he doesn't even know what to think about. he doesn't know if he should. he ran away from Gotham because he's a murderer. not to come to Paris and fall in love with Dawn.
fall in love?? fuck. no. he shoves the thought out of his head so hard. that's not for him, not anymore. it never really was and he knew that even back then. but now he knows for sure that life is over and he doesn't deserve shit anymore. he doesn't even know if Dick and the others are alive or not and he's sitting here with Dawn, feeling all this comfort.
he pulls his phone out and punches Dick's number into it and hits send before he can stop himself. it rings a couple times before connecting and Jason can hear his very distinct and very alive Hello? Who is this? filtering through from the other end. Jason swallows hard and hangs up because he can't say anything. what would he even say?
but he's alive. at least he's alive. that doesn't solve anything with Dawn, though.]
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She sighs and looks around the apartment, trying to decide what she should do now to try and take her mind off things. Usually she would go up to the garden but Jason is up there and she wants to give him some space, she could go read in her bedroom but part of her doesn't want to see the tousled sheets because it will just remind her of laying in bed with him. Finally she decides to have a bubble bath, it might help relax her and should Jason come back down it will still allow him some distance from her.
With that decided she grabs a book from the living room and goes to run herself a bath.]
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at respecting him.
he doesn't deserve that either, he knows that much for sure. but... that's not how this works. that's not how she is. that's not how they are with each other- and when and how that happened, he doesn't know.
and now... she called him attractive. she suggested they have more sleepovers together. she touches him in such an affectionate way. She misses Hank, his brain tells him- but he also remembers her telling him how relieved she felt that it was over. he's so confused.
but sitting up here without her isn't helping to un-confuse him, and maybe that's just it. he needs her here. he was never very good with space anyway, and in the end it isn't doing a whole lot of good. so he finally gets himself up, does a little more stretching up here on the roof, and then he heads back downstairs.
before he leaves though, he plucks a rose from the blooming bush and brings it down with him.
by the time he heads back down she's in the bathroom. he approaches slowly and slides the rose in the curl of the doorknob, then goes to heat up the pizza and make a nice salad to go with it, just to give himself something else to do. ]
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She leans back in the tub and opens her book to where she last left off and soon she finds herself so engrossed in The Tale of Monte Cristo that she doesn't hear the front door open, signaling Jason's return, she also doesn't hear him approach the bathroom door. She spends a good half an hour, lounging and soaking in the tub and by the time she climbs out and towels off she's feeling a lot more like herself. More in control.
She wraps herself up in a towel, gathers her things and goes to leave the bathroom so she can get changed into some regular clothes and not her workout gear. When she opens the door she is surprised to find the rose but there's no question as to who left it for her and instead of making her feel confused it makes her smile. She goes into her room and closes the door, letting the towel drop from around her body and for one moment she lets herself stand alone, naked, smelling the sweet aroma of the rose.
It doesn't take long for her to get changed into a big comfortable sweater and jeans and by then she can smell the pizza so she tucks the rose into her pinned up hair and heads out to the kitchen.]
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whatever this is with Dawn, it's normal and good. two very foreign things to him, but maybe that's why it should just be okay.
so he keeps up working on the salad, chopping up the fresh veggies he picked up this morning and is adding them to a big bowl when he can hear her heading towards the kitchen. when she gets here, he turns towards her and gives her a small smile, glancing at the flower in her hair before looking at her again. ]
Hey.
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[She says, grateful that he's smiling at her and not avoiding eye contact, it helps makes things feel a bit easier again and she comes fully into the kitchen.]
I don't know how but that pizza smells even better now.
[She says and starts taking out plates and utensils for them.]
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[should they talk? maybe they should talk, but he doesn't want to push it. he just wants things to be okay with her.]
Can we eat on the couch? I was sitting on the solid ground up there for a while and I could use something more cushiony.
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ooc: figured we would skip ahead a little to the next morning
sorry Dawn ;_;
ohhh nooooo!
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