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[dawn_is_breaking]

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[nomorefear]

Yeah? Good. I made a salad too.

[should they talk? maybe they should talk, but he doesn't want to push it. he just wants things to be okay with her.]

Can we eat on the couch? I was sitting on the solid ground up there for a while and I could use something more cushiony.

[dawn_is_breaking]

Thank you for doing that, it looks really good.

[She chuckles softly and nods.]

Yeah, of course. I don't want your butt to get as bruised as your back.

[It's a bit of light teasing and she hopes that it makes him smile and remember their earlier jokes about his butt.]

[nomorefear]

I think I kinda went overboard with the veggies but... it's cool. It'll balance out having pizza twice in one day.

[not that it matters, he's just trying to make conversation. he clearly sucks at it. he's not sure how the fuck he ever convinced anyone that he was nothing more than a cocky little shit. it all feels so hard now.

he does smile at her though.]

Think it's a little late for that.... felt good to sit up there for a while, started to get chilly though.

[dawn_is_breaking]

Exactly my thoughts, balance is key they say. Although I'll never know who 'they' are....

[She's also just trying to make conversation, figuring that once they get started it might help ease some of the awkwardness between them. His smile is encouraging though.]

Yeah it gets chilly once the sun starts to go down, but I'm sure after some pizza you'll warm up. Do you want me to grab it out of the oven?

[nomorefear]

Scientists or some shit. People who are too smart for their own good.

[and probably doctors, but he doesn't want to bring those up right now. doctors have never been a good thing. he kinda hopes that mentioning being up there will kick start the conversation they need to have, but he realizes it's gonna have to be him. she probably feels like she shouldn't say anything about it anymore.]

It's cool, I've got it.

[dawn_is_breaking]

[She certainly doesn't want to bring up doctors either and when he says that he's got it she nods and passes him the oven mitts.]

Okay, I'll get us some water then.

[She grabs two glasses and fills them with ice and water, taking some of the fresh mint they've collected from up in the garden and adding a sprig to each glass.]

[nomorefear]

[ he takes the mitts from her and pulls the pizza out of the oven, setting them on the plates, then brings them over along with the salad to set on the coffee table. it's cozier here than the dining room table, and maybe for now that's okay.

once they've got everything they need, he sits carefully, wincing slightly at the pull on his back as he does so, but it's fine.

once she comes to sit, he glances at her.]

So uh... I felt a little bad picking the rose, but I wanted to bring one down for you. Hope that's okay.

[dawn_is_breaking]

[The second he takes the pizza out of the oven her stomach growls and she realizes that within the span of Jason being here with her, her appetite has come back almost fully. She grabs the waters and follows him to the couch, letting him sit down first before joining him.]

It's more than okay.

[She says with a warm smile.]

It's beautiful, thank you for bringing it down.

[nomorefear]

[ he gives her a nod and a small smile, taking a sip of his water before setting that down as well. ]

And... you? Are you okay too?

[dawn_is_breaking]

Yes, I'm okay.

[She says and then looks up into his eyes.]

Urm...are you?

[nomorefear]

[ he glances down for a moment when she looks at him, trying to figure out what to say. he honestly has no idea, and maybe that's all he needs to say. he looks up at her and nods. ]

Yeah. I think so. I'm just not really sure... what to say. So I'm telling you that I don't know what to say cause I wanna be honest with you.

[dawn_is_breaking]

[Her lips curve up into a smile.]

I appreciate that, thank you. I...like that we can be honest with each other, it feels important considering...

[She pauses, taking a deep breath.]

Considering everything that you've been through.

[nomorefear]

[ at least she smiles at that. the best possible outcome for his lack of being able to figure shit out.

he does furrow his eyebrows at her words, though.]

What I've been through?

[dawn_is_breaking]

Being lied to, by Crane. By....I guess us as well, the Titans. Saying we would be there for you and then not.

[nomorefear]

[ Oh.

Jason's gaze shifts down again. oh, that. right. because she is right, of course, but it's hard for him to feel anything sensibly right or wrong when it comes to all of it. she's right, but he also killed people. he killed Hank. it's hard for his mind not to go back to that, even if that's not exactly what she's talking about. ]

Yeah. It's important.

[dawn_is_breaking]

[She can see a flicker of sadness in his eyes and she reaches out and puts her hand over his.]

So even if it causes a few moments of awkwardness, like earlier, I'd like for us to try and keep that honesty going.

[nomorefear]

[ it's so easy for him to get lost in it- in his overwhelming guilt and sadness and all of his emotions. that's what pushed him over the edge in the first place, isn't it? all of it being so very overwhelming.

but it's a little different thing time.

he has someone reaching out to him. and it's not someone evil or dirty like Crane. it's the light that is Dawn.

he feels her hand on his and he lets himself feel it deeply. it gets him to nod, looking up at her again while his turns his hand a little to be able to run his thumb across her skin. ]

Me too. I'd like that.

[dawn_is_breaking]

[Her skin tingles pleasantly when he rubs his thumb across her hand and she finds herself staring into his eyes when he lifts his head back up. His eyes are so different now, full of a depth of emotion she would never think someone his age could have, but then again most people don't go through what he did in the span of their entire lives and he's been forced to do it in a few years.]

Good.

[She says softly and smiles.]

[nomorefear]

[ with that said, Jason thinks she's going to keep that honesty going, tell him what she's thinking or what she's feeling, especially because he told her that he didn't know what to say.

but she doesn't, and he's left hanging a little, and he's still not entirely sure what to say. he feels stupid saying that again, though.]

So. Now what?

[dawn_is_breaking]

[Of course he asks her what they are supposed to do now and she opens her mouth to say something but pauses, a loss for words because she's not really sure what to do or say either. Finally though she chuckles and gives his hand a comforting squeeze.]

Honestly? I have no idea. I just know that I don't want either of us to feel awkward around the other.

[nomorefear]

[ he wants to remind her that they weren't feeling all that awkward before she said what she said earlier, so she might want to talk about that- but maybe she was already feeling awkward beforehand and she doesn't want to talk about it- and he's real shit at this sort of thing now anyway. whatever this thing is.

he's not sure if saying any of that is a good idea, even if she did say she wanted them to be honest with each other. maybe she's just not ready for it. he won't let himself get disappointed over it. ]

It's fine. We're fine.

[he squeezes her hand a little too, then lets go and shifts a bit so he can pick up his plate.]

We should eat.

[dawn_is_breaking]

[She feels like she keeps taking one step forward and then another back and she struggles to try and figure out what it is she's supposed to say. Does he want her to explain everything? How she feels? How can she do that when she's not really sure of it herself?]

Yeah.

[She says and helps herself to some of the salad he's made, chewing on it slowly as she still tries to think of something to say that will help the situation.]

[nomorefear]

[ he sits back a little once he puts enough food on his plate and starts eating. the pizza is delicious and the vegetables are fresh. it's really a nice dinner.

once it's clear they're not going to address anything from earlier, Jason decides to shift entirely to the other thing that won't leave his mind. ]

So... I called Dick.

[dawn_is_breaking]

[She pauses and looks at him, eyes wide.]

You did? What....did you tell him?

[nomorefear]

[ he shakes his head, feeling a little frustrated at himself, but... he knows he couldn't have done anything more than he did. ]

Nothing. I called him just to see if... I wanted to make sure he'd pick up and he did, and then I hung up. I didn't say anything to him. I couldn't.