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[dawn_is_breaking]

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[nomorefear]

[ he gives her a small smile and a nod as he drags his fingers through his hair, elbows still resting on the mattress. the feels soothing again. ]

Come on, think back. What else did you gossip about as a teenager?

[dawn_is_breaking]

[Her smile grows a bit more relaxed and she glances at him.]

Uh.... Mostly boys, dating, getting our periods, boring classes, other girls who were mean to us, what we thought sex would be like.

[nomorefear]

[ those definitely all feel like safer things to talk about, though half of those things he knows nothing about. he's definitely open to hearing her take on it all, though. ]

Did you have a lot of friends?

[dawn_is_breaking]

I had a few, people tended to think I was a snob in highschool.

[She admits and then gestures to the apartment as a whole.]

I'm from a fairly well to do home and I was standoffish to most people because I didn't want them getting close to me. Because if they got close they would see what my family was like.

[She pauses and then adds.]

What my father was like.

[nomorefear]

[ he tries to imagine what Dawn would have been like in high school, but he's sure it's very different from how she is now. ]

Did he act the same around people, or did he pretend he was a charming motherfucker to fool the fuck out of everyone?

[dawn_is_breaking]

[She makes a soft scoffing noise in her throat.]

He pretended to be charming and that's why I didn't ever want anyone coming over. I didn't want what friends I did have to like him or think he was great, it hurt too much because I knew the truth.

[nomorefear]

Yeah. Figured.

[that's how they all are, aren't they? or at least Jason's, and the other men he knew who had the same sadistic streak.]

They never veer far from their bullshit.

[dawn_is_breaking]

No, they never do.

[She agrees and then runs a hand through her hair.]

So I mostly stayed over at other people's houses for sleepovers, or I'd say I was going to a friends place and sneak into a pub and stay out late.

[nomorefear]

Is that where you talked about dating, getting your periods, boring classes and what we thought sex would be like.

[dawn_is_breaking]

[She laughs softly.]

Yeah, that's where. Sneaking into pubs is what allowed me to find out what sex was like later on.

[nomorefear]

Better than any other kinda education, I'll tell you that much.

[he snorts softly.]

Think that's where I did all my learning too.

[dawn_is_breaking]

[Her smile grows a little more and she nudges him with her shoulder gently.]

Yeah? Did you also lose your virginity to someone you met at a pub?

[nomorefear]

[ his eyebrows shoot up and he gives her a crooked grin, nudging her right back. ]

No. But you said also, so that means you did?

[dawn_is_breaking]

[She laughs, liking that they've managed to get back to a place where they're both smiling again. She's really starting to like all his different smiles, the crooked one he has right now is pretty fun.]

Yes, that's what that means.

[nomorefear]

[ somehow it's easy to get back to this place with her, even with all the doubt in his heart. maybe it's because her smile is so infectious. ]

Was it fun?

[dawn_is_breaking]

It was....

[She pauses to try and find the right words and winds up laughing again.]

There was a lot of fumbling, on both our parts, and while he was very enthusiastic it didn't exactly live up to what I had expected.

Especially not after reading that astrology book.....

[nomorefear]

Damn, that's rough. Astrology book out there messing with lives. Who knew?

[his smile grows a little wider now. again, he can't help it when she laughs like that. it's so sweet.]

The first time never goes as expected though, right? That's kinda the main thing about it.

[dawn_is_breaking]

That's true, the number of people who have amazing sex their first time are probably either very lucky or lying.

What was your first time like?

[nomorefear]

Probably real lucky, or not expecting much to begin with. Probably better than way so you're not let down.

[Jason ducks his head a little at her question, rubbing his hand through his hair as he lets out a small laugh of his own.]

It was nice.

[dawn_is_breaking]

[She can't help but grin at the adorable way he rubs a hand through his hair and she nudges him again.]

Were you one of those lucky people? Who was it with?

[nomorefear]

[ he honestly can't believe they're actually talking about this right now. it felt like a safe topic going into it but now it feels very much on the line. sex talk always does. talking about his past always is.]

I felt like I was lucky. I mean, we still fumbled our way through it cause we were pretty young, but it was nice.

[dawn_is_breaking]

[She smiles, happy that he was able to have something nice in what sounds like a very rough time growing up.]

That sounds really sweet. I'm glad one of us got that for our first time.

[nomorefear]

Yeah, I liked her a lot. I wouldn't say anything bad about my time with her. Sounds like yours wasn't too bad either, though. Aside from the high expectations. Always better not to have any.

[but maybe that's something learned over time for most people. Jason's pretty sure he was born with it, though.]

[dawn_is_breaking]

How did you meet her? Was she a girlfriend or just someone close to you?

[She realizes she doesn't know anything about this area of Jason's life except for his time with Rose, other than that she has no idea if he had other partners back in Gotham when Bruce made him leave to come to the Tower.]

[nomorefear]

She was one of the neighborhood kids. We all kinda grew up together, fought together, lived on the streets together. I always wanted her to be my girlfriend but she wasn't really into that. She wanted to be her own thing which, I totally get. Who the fuck needs a shitty guy around. But you know, we were curious kids and we fooled around together cause we trusted each other when we didn't trust anyone else.

[he explains, then goes quiet. he's not sure why he's telling Dawn all of this, but it feels important.]