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[dawn_is_breaking]

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[nomorefear]

Better than any other kinda education, I'll tell you that much.

[he snorts softly.]

Think that's where I did all my learning too.

[dawn_is_breaking]

[Her smile grows a little more and she nudges him with her shoulder gently.]

Yeah? Did you also lose your virginity to someone you met at a pub?

[nomorefear]

[ his eyebrows shoot up and he gives her a crooked grin, nudging her right back. ]

No. But you said also, so that means you did?

[dawn_is_breaking]

[She laughs, liking that they've managed to get back to a place where they're both smiling again. She's really starting to like all his different smiles, the crooked one he has right now is pretty fun.]

Yes, that's what that means.

[nomorefear]

[ somehow it's easy to get back to this place with her, even with all the doubt in his heart. maybe it's because her smile is so infectious. ]

Was it fun?

[dawn_is_breaking]

It was....

[She pauses to try and find the right words and winds up laughing again.]

There was a lot of fumbling, on both our parts, and while he was very enthusiastic it didn't exactly live up to what I had expected.

Especially not after reading that astrology book.....

[nomorefear]

Damn, that's rough. Astrology book out there messing with lives. Who knew?

[his smile grows a little wider now. again, he can't help it when she laughs like that. it's so sweet.]

The first time never goes as expected though, right? That's kinda the main thing about it.

[dawn_is_breaking]

That's true, the number of people who have amazing sex their first time are probably either very lucky or lying.

What was your first time like?

[nomorefear]

Probably real lucky, or not expecting much to begin with. Probably better than way so you're not let down.

[Jason ducks his head a little at her question, rubbing his hand through his hair as he lets out a small laugh of his own.]

It was nice.

[dawn_is_breaking]

[She can't help but grin at the adorable way he rubs a hand through his hair and she nudges him again.]

Were you one of those lucky people? Who was it with?

[nomorefear]

[ he honestly can't believe they're actually talking about this right now. it felt like a safe topic going into it but now it feels very much on the line. sex talk always does. talking about his past always is.]

I felt like I was lucky. I mean, we still fumbled our way through it cause we were pretty young, but it was nice.

[dawn_is_breaking]

[She smiles, happy that he was able to have something nice in what sounds like a very rough time growing up.]

That sounds really sweet. I'm glad one of us got that for our first time.

[nomorefear]

Yeah, I liked her a lot. I wouldn't say anything bad about my time with her. Sounds like yours wasn't too bad either, though. Aside from the high expectations. Always better not to have any.

[but maybe that's something learned over time for most people. Jason's pretty sure he was born with it, though.]

[dawn_is_breaking]

How did you meet her? Was she a girlfriend or just someone close to you?

[She realizes she doesn't know anything about this area of Jason's life except for his time with Rose, other than that she has no idea if he had other partners back in Gotham when Bruce made him leave to come to the Tower.]

[nomorefear]

She was one of the neighborhood kids. We all kinda grew up together, fought together, lived on the streets together. I always wanted her to be my girlfriend but she wasn't really into that. She wanted to be her own thing which, I totally get. Who the fuck needs a shitty guy around. But you know, we were curious kids and we fooled around together cause we trusted each other when we didn't trust anyone else.

[he explains, then goes quiet. he's not sure why he's telling Dawn all of this, but it feels important.]

[dawn_is_breaking]

[She smiles and leans her shoulder against his.]

It's nice that you both had someone to trust, especially with that kind of stuff.

[She pauses and then because she curious she adds.]

Jason, have you ever had a girlfriend? Or boyfriend?

[nomorefear]

Yeah. She's always been great like that.

[but now he supposes he turned his back on her too. left her in Gotham like a fucking coward.


there might've been a time when he'd scoff at her relationship question and give some overly cocky remark about how of course he's had tons, why wouldn't he? that's the image he always wanted to put out to the world. it's who he needed to be. experienced in every aspect so no one could find anything more to put him down with.

it all seems so trivial now.

And still, he thinks of Rose. he had wanted her to be with him too. he thought he found the one. that they'd be together and take on the world just the two of them. he was so fucking stupid. they had only been together a couple of days before she told him the truth. he was stupid because even in that short a time he had put so much of his heart into it.]

No.

[dawn_is_breaking]

[It's both surprising and not to hear that he's never had a girlfriend/boyfriend, surprising in one way because he's very good looking and before all of this he had confidence and a very flirtatious nature that she would think people would gravitate to. But on the other hand, he grew up hard and in situations that were quite different than most and meeting and connecting with others was probably low on his list of priorities.

She makes a thoughtful noise and then leans her head onto his shoulder.]

Okay.

[nomorefear]

[it's ironic to think about how meeting and connecting with others was low on his priority list, when that's really what he's always wanted the most. but it never worked out that way, and now... he won't even think about it anymore. the time for all that has passed.

he knows this is what he deserves and maybe it always has been, the universe telling him all along by never allowing anything or anyone to stay.

he thinks he's ok with that now, though. he's moved past what his heart needs. the last time he got angry over his broken heart, people died.]

Okay?

[it's a curious response none the less, his shoulders tensing up when she rests her head there.]

[dawn_is_breaking]

[She doesn't feel his shoulders tense up so she stays as she is, head resting against him, her eyes drifting down the lines of his arms and hands.]

Yeah. I was just curious, it's fine that you haven't. It's understandable since you grew up trying to survive and then you were with Bruce, who...well he's never been exactly supportive of his Robins getting into relationships.

[And she should know, seeing how Bruce had actively told Dick to stay away from her at first.]

[nomorefear]

[ maybe it's good that she stays where she is. it's nice, and he likes it, despite his reservations. ]

Yeah... I guess... I had Molly, and then I had Robin. Guess what it is, is that I'm a one person kinda guy.

[he was too busy with Bruce, being Robin. he's not sure he would have been with anyone anyway. and then Rose happened when it was all already starting to fall away.]

[dawn_is_breaking]

[She smiles softly.]

Yeah? You're kind of old fashioned in a way, it's interesting.

[nomorefear]

Old fashioned?

[ he tilts his head down a little so he can kind of half look at her face. ]

Am I?

[dawn_is_breaking]

[She feels his curious look and tilts her face up towards his so he can see her smile.]

A bit yeah, as I understand it most guys your age aren't exactly into monogamy right away but you seem...I dunno, kind of like an old fashioned romantic in a way. Someone who is devoted to one person and will protect them and spoil them with flowers and small, meaningful things.

[nomorefear]

[ her smile brings a small one to his face as well, but that sad look is still in his eyes. a lot of good his stupid, romantic heart has ever done for him. ]

That's... yeah. That's what I would've liked.