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[dawn_is_breaking]

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[dawn_is_breaking]

How did you meet her? Was she a girlfriend or just someone close to you?

[She realizes she doesn't know anything about this area of Jason's life except for his time with Rose, other than that she has no idea if he had other partners back in Gotham when Bruce made him leave to come to the Tower.]

[nomorefear]

She was one of the neighborhood kids. We all kinda grew up together, fought together, lived on the streets together. I always wanted her to be my girlfriend but she wasn't really into that. She wanted to be her own thing which, I totally get. Who the fuck needs a shitty guy around. But you know, we were curious kids and we fooled around together cause we trusted each other when we didn't trust anyone else.

[he explains, then goes quiet. he's not sure why he's telling Dawn all of this, but it feels important.]

[dawn_is_breaking]

[She smiles and leans her shoulder against his.]

It's nice that you both had someone to trust, especially with that kind of stuff.

[She pauses and then because she curious she adds.]

Jason, have you ever had a girlfriend? Or boyfriend?

[nomorefear]

Yeah. She's always been great like that.

[but now he supposes he turned his back on her too. left her in Gotham like a fucking coward.


there might've been a time when he'd scoff at her relationship question and give some overly cocky remark about how of course he's had tons, why wouldn't he? that's the image he always wanted to put out to the world. it's who he needed to be. experienced in every aspect so no one could find anything more to put him down with.

it all seems so trivial now.

And still, he thinks of Rose. he had wanted her to be with him too. he thought he found the one. that they'd be together and take on the world just the two of them. he was so fucking stupid. they had only been together a couple of days before she told him the truth. he was stupid because even in that short a time he had put so much of his heart into it.]

No.

[dawn_is_breaking]

[It's both surprising and not to hear that he's never had a girlfriend/boyfriend, surprising in one way because he's very good looking and before all of this he had confidence and a very flirtatious nature that she would think people would gravitate to. But on the other hand, he grew up hard and in situations that were quite different than most and meeting and connecting with others was probably low on his list of priorities.

She makes a thoughtful noise and then leans her head onto his shoulder.]

Okay.

[nomorefear]

[it's ironic to think about how meeting and connecting with others was low on his priority list, when that's really what he's always wanted the most. but it never worked out that way, and now... he won't even think about it anymore. the time for all that has passed.

he knows this is what he deserves and maybe it always has been, the universe telling him all along by never allowing anything or anyone to stay.

he thinks he's ok with that now, though. he's moved past what his heart needs. the last time he got angry over his broken heart, people died.]

Okay?

[it's a curious response none the less, his shoulders tensing up when she rests her head there.]

[dawn_is_breaking]

[She doesn't feel his shoulders tense up so she stays as she is, head resting against him, her eyes drifting down the lines of his arms and hands.]

Yeah. I was just curious, it's fine that you haven't. It's understandable since you grew up trying to survive and then you were with Bruce, who...well he's never been exactly supportive of his Robins getting into relationships.

[And she should know, seeing how Bruce had actively told Dick to stay away from her at first.]

[nomorefear]

[ maybe it's good that she stays where she is. it's nice, and he likes it, despite his reservations. ]

Yeah... I guess... I had Molly, and then I had Robin. Guess what it is, is that I'm a one person kinda guy.

[he was too busy with Bruce, being Robin. he's not sure he would have been with anyone anyway. and then Rose happened when it was all already starting to fall away.]

[dawn_is_breaking]

[She smiles softly.]

Yeah? You're kind of old fashioned in a way, it's interesting.

[nomorefear]

Old fashioned?

[ he tilts his head down a little so he can kind of half look at her face. ]

Am I?

[dawn_is_breaking]

[She feels his curious look and tilts her face up towards his so he can see her smile.]

A bit yeah, as I understand it most guys your age aren't exactly into monogamy right away but you seem...I dunno, kind of like an old fashioned romantic in a way. Someone who is devoted to one person and will protect them and spoil them with flowers and small, meaningful things.

[nomorefear]

[ her smile brings a small one to his face as well, but that sad look is still in his eyes. a lot of good his stupid, romantic heart has ever done for him. ]

That's... yeah. That's what I would've liked.

[dawn_is_breaking]

[The sadness she sees in his eyes makes her wish that she could make him see that he still has a chance to find someone out there, especially now that he's away from Gotham and Bruce and all his rules and secrets.]

I think that's really sweet.

[She says, her eyes flickering across his face. Noting the way his jaw curves and the slant of his small smile.]

[nomorefear]

It's something alright.

[he eyes her, letting out a small, self deprecating laugh. deep down he always knew he'd end up alone and he fought it for as long as he could, but now his secrets are even deeper and more sickening than before. he'd never do that to anyone.]

Sweet doesn't get you shit. It gets you fucked.

[dawn_is_breaking]

[She opens her mouth to argue with him again but instead chuckles and gives him a flirty grin.]

Isn't that part of the goal though?

...to get fucked?

[nomorefear]

[ he blinks at her, then laughs softly and shakes his head, dropping it down against the mattress. ]

Yeah, sure. That's part of the goal. Maybe better off if it's the whole goal and the only goal. Maybe I just need to go out and get laid.

[dawn_is_breaking]

[She feels a strange tightness in her stomach when he mentions going out to get laid, she doesn't want to think of Jason going out, picking up French women and bringing them back here. She doesn't want anyone else in this apartment except for the two of them and she tells herself to calm down, she knows he wouldn't do that, he would probably go to their place. And yet....she doesn't like that idea very much either.]

I mean...if you want, sure.

[She says, trying to keep her tone light.]

[nomorefear]

[ she fails. or maybe she wouldn't fail with anyone else, but Jason's good at picking up on these things, and there's something unnerving in her tone, behind the fake lightness.

he lifts his head, raising his eyebrows. ]

Of course I don't want to. I was joking.

[dawn_is_breaking]

[His raised eyebrows make her realize that he sees right past her false tone and she suddenly feels like an idiot, her cheeks go pink and it's her turn to drop her face down against the mattress, her hair spilling down around her.]

Right. Of course you were....sorry.

[nomorefear]

Don't be sorry.

[he says quietly, though he wonders what that tone was about. he knows he doesn't have a chance at anything out there anymore and she probably knows he doesn't either and was just trying to be nice about it? and here he is, being a jerk about her trying to be nice.]

Look, it's cool, ok? I know. Anyway, no one wants a guy with a mysterious giant bruise on his ass.

[dawn_is_breaking]

[He could have more than a chance out there, the women in Paris would happily eat him up, but here he is thinking he doesn't have a chance because of the huge bruise on his cute little ass. The ridiculousness of the situation hits her and she begins to giggle. She lifts her head up and makes the mistake of looking at him, his eyes are so serious but his body is still covered in ice packs and her giggles get worse.]

Oh Jason...I'm sorry....it's just.....

[She tries to say and then bursts out laughing.]

I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing at....your poor butt.

[nomorefear]

[ good. that's what he wants her to think. that's what he wants her to laugh at. he doesn't want her to feel bad or be sorry for anything. ]

It's cool, laugh away. It's the butt of the joke anyway.

[dawn_is_breaking]

[She manages to get her laughter under control and she pushes back her hair, still smiling a little at the idea of anyone in Paris turning their nose up at Jason's butt purely because it's bruised.]

Thank god you don't have a pancake butt or else you could have broken something when you fell on it....

[nomorefear]

Can't believe you didn't laugh harder at my pun.

[he gives her a teasing look of slight offense, then glances back towards his butt.]

And now you're calling my butt fat, I can't believe this.

[dawn_is_breaking]

Sorry, it was a very cute pun.

[She says and then laughs again.]

I'm not calling it fat! There's not an once of fat on you.