[ He closes his eyes, breathing slowly and carefully so he doesn't start coughing again, but mostly because he knows he needs to calm his fast beating heart. This was a lot. It was big, and he doesn't even know where to go from here.
In this quiet space they're sharing right now he tries not to think that far. He's so comfortable with her here in his arms. ]
[She can hear that his heart is beating fast and she slides one of her hands onto his chest, placing it over his heart so she can feel it as well. It feels like it's been so long since she's felt someone's heart beat this fast because of her and it sends a little thrill down her spine.]
[ He hopes it's not strange, or too much. He hopes she doesn't feel worried about how he's feeling either.
Eventually with her hand over his heart it slows down to a comfortable pace... and as much as he wants to stay in this moment, he's so comfortable and also so worn out, that eventually he starts to drift off despite it all. ]
[She can feel when he starts to drift off towards sleep, his breathing becoming deeper and more even and she smiles to herself and stays exactly where she is. She's perfectly happy to stay in his arms while he sleeps, he needs lots of rest, after all he's sick. She'll make him tea when he wakes up and while she's thinking about what she could make him for dinner she also falls asleep.]
[ He sleeps... and sleeps and sleeps because for once he's comfortable enough to, but once the meds start wearing off his temperature starts going up again and the nightmares set in.
They're always worse now than they were before. He has a lot more on his conscience. But with Dawn surrounding him it's not so violent and unsettled around him.]
[Slowly she starts to drift up from her sleep when she hears Jason softly moaning, she blinks her eyes sleepily as she tries to figure out where she is but then she feels his arms around her and she remembers. She's with Jason, on the couch, and things are good.
Well....sort of.
She lifts her head up and sees that he's looking sweaty again and is having what seems to be a restless sleep so she very carefully starts to try and get up so she can get him more medicine.]
[ Her movement jars him awake quickly, and he's not used to waking next to anyone so he's quick to yank himself away from her, trying to back away from the situation, but there's nowhere to go in the small confines of the couch, making him feel trapped, especially with the blankets tucked all around them.
He's just about ready to lunge forward and attack when he realizes where he is and who he's with, and he presses himself against the back of the couch, trying to catch his breath. ]
[When he startles awake her reflexes are quick enough to help her avoid getting smacked in the face by his flailing limbs and when he shoves himself against the back of the couch she reaches out to put a hand on his chest.]
Shhhhh, it's okay. It's just me. [Her voice is soft and reassuring.] It feels like your fever is back, I was just going to get you more Advil to take to bring it down again.
[ He's thankful for her reflexes because he'd feel absolutely fucking terrible if he had hit her or hurt her in any way. He tenses hard when she puts a hand on his chest, but then he tries to focus on the feel of it to slow his breath. ]
Sorry. Fuck. I'm sorry. I was having a- you know. A nightmare. I feel like I'm burning up.
[And then her words settle into his brain too and yeah, that's what she said, isn't it. His fever is back.]
You don't have to apologize, it's okay. [She says and then looks at his face and gets up from the couch, hurrying into the kitchen to grab him some ice water and more Advil.]
Here take these. [She says and gives him the pills, she then looks at the nest he's made on the couch and decides it would be smarter in the long run to move him to her bed.]
After you take those we're going to move to my room okay?
[Not okay, he wants to say, but he stops himself once she gets up and hurries away. He takes that moment to try to reel his shit back in, to uncurl from the blankets and himself.
When she comes back he takes the pills from her and drinks them down, then wipes at his forehead, looking at her again. He feels fuzzy in his head, but he remembers what happened before this. There's no way he can forget.]
[She says and then goes into her bedroom, pulling back the covers and shifting the pillows around to create a new cozy set up for him. She then returns to the living room and sits down to wrap an arm around his waist.]
Feel free to put your arm around my shoulder while we walk to my room. I don't want you falling over.
And after you're set up there I'm going to start warming up some soup for us. You might not feel hungry right now but you need to eat once those pills bring your fever down again.
[ He nods, closing his eyes as she goes off into her bedroom, all up until she comes back and then they flutter open again to look at her. He feels pathetic again but she doesn't care about that kind of thing and he knows it, so he lets himself lean into her, putting an arm around her shoulder.
Another nod, and he tries to go for a look of thanks as well, but all he does is lean as she helps him stand up, and he's grateful he has her by his side. ]
[ He's pretty damn grateful that she's so strong, too. Of course she is, he wouldn't expect any less. Still, he tries to carry his own weight as much as he can until she sits him down on her bed. ]
Yeah- yeah, okay.
[He finally gives in, closing his eyes as he lays down.]
I'm good like this. All I really want is to lay here with you. That's it.
[It tumbles out of his mouth before he can stop himself, but he doesn't really think too hard about that either.]
[ As fearfully as he woke up not being used to someone laying beside him, it's the opposite now as he moves over to make room for her. As soon as she gets into bed with him and gathers him up, he slides his arms around her waist, pressing his head against her chest and closes his eyes again.
He feels terrible but he feels good, and it's that latter that doesn't usually get to happen, so he welcomes it now. ]
[She leans her head down enough to kiss the top of his head, his wild curls brushing against her face.]
You're welcome.
[She leans back against the pillows and gently runs one of her hands up and down his back, rubbing it while she tries to remember if she has a thermometer somewhere in the house. She's hoping that with the pills his fever will subside but if it keeps up she should keep an eye on it just in case.]
[ Even with her arms around him, once he closes his eyes again and lets himself settle into it once again, he can feel his heart rate start to pick up. Still too many images behind his eyes. ]
I don't wanna fall back asleep though. I wanna try to stay awake.
Okay sure. [She says as her hand continues to rub soothingly against his back.]
How about we talk about some of the things we'd like to do once you're feeling better? Is there anywhere else in Europe you'd maybe like to go? We can take the train to some interesting places.
[ He says quietly, trying to let himself settle again. It's easy once he starts to concentrate on her hand rubbing his back and maybe some would say that's pathetic, but he knows that's just the bullshit that's been fed to him for so long.
He likes it. He needs it. ]
Do you think it's safe to travel around right now?
[Dawn would never think that wanting and needing comfort is pathetic, it's just human nature and she's happy to give it to Jason.]
I think it's safe enough to start looking into it. [She says, dropping another kiss to the top of his head because she can't help herself.] We don't have to go anywhere till we both feel safe but we can at least start making a list of potential places.
[ She wouldn't, because she's a good person, but there are plenty of others that have paved the way. Jason's still trying to figure out how to let himself live, especially now after all he's done. ]
It's weird, I used to want to get out there all the time and do everything I could. But now? Now it's so fucking hard. It feels so fucking hard.
I know it is, really I do. I didn't leave this apartment for more than an hour at a time when I fist got here but we can start small and build up to it. And we'll have each other there for support.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2022-06-30 06:19 am (UTC)In this quiet space they're sharing right now he tries not to think that far. He's so comfortable with her here in his arms. ]
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Date: 2022-06-30 06:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-06-30 06:42 am (UTC)Eventually with her hand over his heart it slows down to a comfortable pace... and as much as he wants to stay in this moment, he's so comfortable and also so worn out, that eventually he starts to drift off despite it all. ]
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Date: 2022-06-30 06:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-06-30 07:04 am (UTC)They're always worse now than they were before. He has a lot more on his conscience. But with Dawn surrounding him it's not so violent and unsettled around him.]
aww sleepy icon, so cute <3
Date: 2022-06-30 07:13 pm (UTC)Well....sort of.
She lifts her head up and sees that he's looking sweaty again and is having what seems to be a restless sleep so she very carefully starts to try and get up so she can get him more medicine.]
his little nightmare sleeps ;_;
Date: 2022-07-01 01:21 am (UTC)He's just about ready to lunge forward and attack when he realizes where he is and who he's with, and he presses himself against the back of the couch, trying to catch his breath. ]
Dawn?
poor bb :*(
Date: 2022-07-01 01:57 am (UTC)Shhhhh, it's okay. It's just me. [Her voice is soft and reassuring.] It feels like your fever is back, I was just going to get you more Advil to take to bring it down again.
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Date: 2022-07-01 04:35 am (UTC)Sorry. Fuck. I'm sorry. I was having a- you know. A nightmare. I feel like I'm burning up.
[And then her words settle into his brain too and yeah, that's what she said, isn't it. His fever is back.]
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Date: 2022-07-01 04:39 am (UTC)Here take these. [She says and gives him the pills, she then looks at the nest he's made on the couch and decides it would be smarter in the long run to move him to her bed.]
After you take those we're going to move to my room okay?
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Date: 2022-07-01 07:24 am (UTC)[Not okay, he wants to say, but he stops himself once she gets up and hurries away. He takes that moment to try to reel his shit back in, to uncurl from the blankets and himself.
When she comes back he takes the pills from her and drinks them down, then wipes at his forehead, looking at her again. He feels fuzzy in his head, but he remembers what happened before this. There's no way he can forget.]
Okay... thanks.
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Date: 2022-07-01 07:35 am (UTC)[She says and then goes into her bedroom, pulling back the covers and shifting the pillows around to create a new cozy set up for him. She then returns to the living room and sits down to wrap an arm around his waist.]
Feel free to put your arm around my shoulder while we walk to my room. I don't want you falling over.
And after you're set up there I'm going to start warming up some soup for us. You might not feel hungry right now but you need to eat once those pills bring your fever down again.
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Date: 2022-07-01 08:05 am (UTC)Another nod, and he tries to go for a look of thanks as well, but all he does is lean as she helps him stand up, and he's grateful he has her by his side. ]
Soup is hot.
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Date: 2022-07-01 08:08 am (UTC)It is, but I promise it won't be too hot. Just warm.
[She says patiently as she helps swing his legs into bed, pulling the covers up on him.]
You just relax now okay? Would you like more water?
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Date: 2022-07-01 08:38 am (UTC)Yeah- yeah, okay.
[He finally gives in, closing his eyes as he lays down.]
I'm good like this. All I really want is to lay here with you. That's it.
[It tumbles out of his mouth before he can stop himself, but he doesn't really think too hard about that either.]
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Date: 2022-07-01 04:16 pm (UTC)Okay, move over a bit then.
[She says and climbs into bed with him, gathering him up in her arms so she can hold him.]
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Date: 2022-07-02 07:37 pm (UTC)He feels terrible but he feels good, and it's that latter that doesn't usually get to happen, so he welcomes it now. ]
Thanks.
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Date: 2022-07-02 09:18 pm (UTC)You're welcome.
[She leans back against the pillows and gently runs one of her hands up and down his back, rubbing it while she tries to remember if she has a thermometer somewhere in the house. She's hoping that with the pills his fever will subside but if it keeps up she should keep an eye on it just in case.]
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Date: 2022-07-02 11:41 pm (UTC)I don't wanna fall back asleep though. I wanna try to stay awake.
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Date: 2022-07-03 12:46 am (UTC)How about we talk about some of the things we'd like to do once you're feeling better? Is there anywhere else in Europe you'd maybe like to go? We can take the train to some interesting places.
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Date: 2022-07-03 02:03 am (UTC)[ He says quietly, trying to let himself settle again. It's easy once he starts to concentrate on her hand rubbing his back and maybe some would say that's pathetic, but he knows that's just the bullshit that's been fed to him for so long.
He likes it. He needs it. ]
Do you think it's safe to travel around right now?
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Date: 2022-07-03 02:19 am (UTC)I think it's safe enough to start looking into it. [She says, dropping another kiss to the top of his head because she can't help herself.] We don't have to go anywhere till we both feel safe but we can at least start making a list of potential places.
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Date: 2022-07-03 07:28 am (UTC)It's weird, I used to want to get out there all the time and do everything I could. But now? Now it's so fucking hard. It feels so fucking hard.
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Date: 2022-07-03 07:16 pm (UTC)I know it is, really I do. I didn't leave this apartment for more than an hour at a time when I fist got here but we can start small and build up to it. And we'll have each other there for support.
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Date: 2022-07-04 06:20 am (UTC)[He snorts softly, burying his head further into her chest.]
I can do it. Just maybe not yet. Where would you wanna go, though?
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